Too sick for Japan lol

I've been holding off on this post for, well, several months. Everything has been up in the air, and I didn't want to re-write this several times. So, here goes...

Back in December, my husband received orders for all of us to go back to Okinawa, Japan for a few years. Long story short, I failed the overseas screening physical thanks to cystinuria, even though I already spent several years living in Okinawa.

At first, the lame urologist over there (lame because she was too good to talk to me personally despite my reaching out, because she prolly isn't a strong doc, and because she prolly didn't want her surgical stats to drop...IMHO), said even though I was on thiola and I was passing fewer stones, I wasn't well enough to live there.

After sending her a well-worded E-mail, the head of the board got back to me (a fam practice doc lol) saying there was a change in staffing, and the urologist would have to travel to different hospitals in the pacific. While this is a much better excuse, I don't believe for one second that it was the reason the urologist denied me. Boy do I have judgments running through my head about this woman, but I've already said enough.

So what happened? Since I was denied, my husband's orders were changed to 2 years unaccompanied, meaning me and my girls have to stay Stateside. If one of our kids was sick, that would be one thing, but I'm the caregiver and I'm the one who is unable to take care of them occasionally, with almost no notice. During these times, my husband has always been the one to step up and take care of me and the kids. Now what?

Well, as of this second of this day, the plan is for us to move back to the San Francisco Bay Area to be close to my husband's mom, who would be able to take care of the kids if I get sick. Then, as soon as my husband arrives in Japan, he will put in his retirement papers. That 2 years should turn into 14 months. Then he will come home on terminal leave and be done with the Marine Corps; not the way he intended on leaving, but in his mind, it's for the best.

He's been doing real estate here in SC for the past year and has been very successful in the foreclosure market, so he will just pick up over there once he's out.

This could change, but it looks like this is the final plan. Last week, someone was looking to send a senior guy to Afghanistan, and he almost went. So, anything can happen.

So, despite all of the complaining, the main point of this story is how I was turned down medically because of my Cystinuria, despite a very positive letter sent by my current urologist regarding my improving condition. (Thank you Dr. P!)

Oh. After the fact, I was accepted into the Marine Corps' Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) at the highest level; category 4, which means I couldn't go to Japan anyway, and can only be stationed at a large base with a full-meal-deal medical facility. All of this went down backwards, but if it had been done correctly, the outcome wouldn't have changed.

Most active duty men don't marry a woman with a disability, granted, mine came on several years after we got married. It makes me wonder how other active duty families with a sick parent handle long separations. I also wonder if any other cystinurics out there have ever been turned down for specific duty stations.